Author Topic: [ORIG] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [R][FIN]  (Read 152 times)

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Offline evilgrin

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[ORIG] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [R][FIN]
« on: Sat, Aug 08, 2009, 07:45 PM »
Author: Evilgrin
Title: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Rating: R-ish, to be safe, for language
Fandom: original
Disclaimer: Nuria doesn't belong to me but the rest is all out of my demented brain
Summary: Vacation. Beautiful Caribbean island. Mojitos. Problem.
Archive: VX, FDB
Feedback: in this thread only please
Author's Notes: a little vacation fun, for NJRD


Vacation.

Was there any finer word, in any language? Well, yes, there were, but at the moment, Nuria was ankle deep in a pile of clothes, sorting out what fabulous outfit she was going to wear when they went down to join the luau out on the beach. The first of many.

And it couldn't have come at a better time. An honest to god vacation. It was exactly what she needed when she needed it and, like the fates had decreed it, the perfect set up had fallen at her feet.

Literally.

It was during a long wait in the line of the grocery store, standing in the express lane with a carton of milk, a pound of coffee and a pineapple of all things for her roommate, that the vacation – or the means to a vacation – had appeared.

The woman in front of her was loud, shouting at the cashier to scan faster because she was in a hurry. What, like no one else was? To top it all off, she was obnoxious, knocking things over as she bullied her overladen cart into the tiny space reserved for  nine or less items.

Nuria has quickly swooped down to catch something the stupid woman had knocked over when she spotted it. A slip of paper sticking out of the bottom of the woman's shoe. Without knowing why she did it, Nuria snatched up the piece of paper with a feeling of smug inner glee.

It was a lottery ticket.

There was no way to know if the ticket belonged to the obnoxious woman or if she had just stepped on it at the right moment in time but it gave Nuria a sense of profound satisfaction to pocket it. It had been one of the best decisions she had ever made. Or at least a really damned good one.

Wednesday had rolled around and Nuria had pulled out the ticket, almost as an afterthought, to check the numbers. She couldn't believe it, shit like this just didn't happen, but there was her roommate Elaine, jumping around beside her, telling her that, fuck yeah, it really had just happened.

[imgwrap=right:37u6ymoj]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d23/XXXevilgrinXXX/other%20stuff/4892e7a1.jpg[/imgwrap:37u6ymoj]That was on Wednesday and today was a Friday. They had hurriedly packed and flown in to the  Caribbean Friday afternoon. With the winnings, Nuria had arranged a fantastic two weeks in the sunny, cabana boy laden climate of a tiny private island. First class, all the way.

All of the clothes all over the floor were the results of packing too quickly, shopping without caring what was spent and throwing everything all over the bed. Nuria knew that Elaine was in her own side of the suite doing much the same thing. With so little time before they left, there had been little time to plan on what would be worn but Nuria chuckled as she wondered what her roomie would grab for their first night out.

At that very moment, Elaine burst through the door, wearing a wacky grin, flip flop sandals and the loudest Hawaiian shirt that Nuria had ever seen.

"Oh my fucking god!" Nuria held up the designer dress to her chest. Not to cover anything up. It was more along the lines of protecting the dress from the incredible volume of the shirt. Like maybe Elaine's shirt might be contagious. "Is that new?"

"Isn't it fantastic? Look at the size of these pineapples!"

At that, Nuria started to smirk. It was just too easy. "Pineapples, huh? The shirt's not bad either."

Snorting, Elaine shimmied a little, shaking her breasts in the shirt. Big pineapples indeed.

Clapping her hands over her eyes, Nuria let out a moan. "Stop, all the colors are hurting my head. You grabbed something else I hope. Like pants?

Grinning evilly, Elaine walked up beside Nuria, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "They had it in blue too but yeah, there's pants." At that, Elaine brandished the pants, shaking them. Something in the pockets rattled like some weird khaki maraca.

"You're impossible, woman. Here," Nuria forced a dress into Elaine's hands, then reaching down to grab another. "Humor me, wear it at least once while we're here."

Nuria shook her head as Elaine, still holding the dress, a horrified look on her face, leapt across the bed, landing on her side to watch as Nuria finished up finding something to wear. "Let me guess, you're not going with the dress?"

Elaine grinned, handing a bra to Nuria. "Shirts, cargos, flip flops, bra. I'm good."

"Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless." Nuria shook her head again, with a smile on her face. They were an odd pair. Perfectly matched, but odd.

"I wore a dress out here. You of all people ought to remember how that went."

Hopping on one foot while slipping into a delicate sandal, Nuria broke into a laugh that turned into a full on cackle as she remembered the little black thundercloud that was her roomie, stomping none too happily around in the dress Nuria had made her wear on the flight over.

While all that had been bad enough, what was really Elaine's undoing had been the three glasses of champagne on the flight over. Teetering around on a beautiful pair of high heels had only brought comedy to a new level as Elaine stumbled out of the airplane's bathroom, sending a stewardess' cart caroming down the aisle like a booze laden missile, packets of peanuts jumping off the sides like lemmings. Ungracefully, Elaine had fallen into the lap of an armed airplane marshal, making a comment about his big gun, and nearly creating an international incident.

"Good point. So, how do I look?"

Turning several times in front of the floor to ceiling mirror on the back wall, Nuria tried to get an idea of the impression she would make when she went downstairs. All seriousness, Elaine braced up on an elbow and looked over at her roomie, assessing quickly. The lack of fashion sense was something Elaine cultivated, a thumb in the eye of fashionistas, but it didn't mean she couldn't see a good thing when it was right there.

"Gorgeous, as usual. Are you going to hog all the men down there, Cock Whisperer? Or will you leave a few for the rest of us?"

"Cock...? What? Did you just call me the Cock Whisperer?"

A shrug, a smirk, all delivered with barely hidden glee. "Well, will you?"

"They'll just have to send more cabana boys, won't they?"

"Damn right. Now let's go. There's a Mai Tai and a roasted pig down there with my name on it."

Nuria shook her head again as they both passed another mirror on their way out. A stranger couple could not be found anywhere, of that she was certain, although she had to admit that with her crazy outfit, Elaine fit in pretty well with the dιcor of the place.

They passed huge stone Tiki heads and grass-fringed bar areas. Hula girls and degenerate - and degenerated – older hipsters. In some other setting it would be outrageously tacky and maybe it was even here, but the place pulled it off. In any case, the hotel was small and exclusive enough that they were out onto the path leading down to the sandy beach in no time at all.

"Oh, this is better than I could ever have hoped. Look at them all!"

Not the stunning sunset or the white sand beaches. Not the palm trees or the beautiful canopied chaise lounges. It was the caramel, sun-kissed skin of the half-naked male serving staff that had Nuria in a near swoon.

[imgwrap=left:37u6ymoj]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d23/XXXevilgrinXXX/other%20stuff/f594359e.jpg[/imgwrap:37u6ymoj]"And all of them are here to bring us everything we want," Elaine leered as she pulled Nuria onto the beach, headed for a large lounge in the middle of the action, waving at one of the beautiful young men to bring them drinks. There was no need to ask what. Mojitos were the flavor of the day.

"You're a tease, woman, you know that?"

"Yep, you bet, love."

Nuria could almost hear the grin on her friend's face. Definitely a tease. Reclining into the luxurious cushions of the lounge, Nuria swung her feet up, pretty ankles crossed on the other side of the lounge, and accepted a drink from a man who knelt beside them, proffering the large drink with both hands. With everything covered, Nuria leaned in and whispered her thanks in the young man's ear, making him grin back at her.

"Told you. Cock Whisperer."

Nuria snorted. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Be a first if I did. I love that about you." Nuria knew that she did, too. It wasn't everybody that got her honest, lusty, love for men.

"Crap, you want a hand with that?"

Elaine leaned forward and made a show of struggling with the fishbowl that was Nuria's glass. "At this rate, two drinks in and we're both going to be smashed."

Taking another pull, Nuria looked over the rim of her glass. "We're on vacation, getting smashed sounds like a fucking good idea. Maybe some of these guys will have to help us to our room."

"A girl could always hope."

They both clinked their giant fishbowl glasses together in a toast just as the first rumbling began.

"What the....fuck, what was that?" Elaine muttered.

Nuria swung her legs off the side of the chaise and they both scanned the area, looking to see if the rumblings had bothered any of the other people at the party. Some of the others had heard the rumblings as well, lowering their glasses and looking around, trying to see where the sound had come from.

Another deep rumble had some of the other guests get to their feet and even the beautiful men that wove between the tables and lounges looked ill at ease. Nuria followed their expressions, looking up at the sky even as some of their fellow guests shouted out what they thought was going on.

"It's a light show!"
"It's fireworks!"

[imgwrap=right:37u6ymoj]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d23/XXXevilgrinXXX/other%20stuff/bfc55575.jpg[/imgwrap:37u6ymoj]"Oh, for fuck's sake." Nuria glared balefully at the sky as red light blared once more, spewing upwards.  "This can not be happening. No!" She held her hand up as one of the young men made to speak up. "Nope, I don't even want to know. This can't be happening."

"Um, love? It might not be happening but I think we should follow those guys over there. To wherever it's not happening at the moment."

"Fucking smartass. No! Don't say it, don't even think it," Nuria muttered as, her arm linked through Elaine's and her huge fishbowl of mojito in the other hand, she made to follow the small crowd of men that had started to make their way down the beach.

"Shit, somebody's got to say it. That was a fucking volcano. " At that, Elaine started to laugh, a crazy laugh that threatened to quickly get out of control. "A volcano. Damn, never would have guessed that."

"No, how could we. Lush Caribbean island, outdoor drunken festivities to who the hell knows what, and a volcano. I hope they don't throw us in."

Planting her feet firmly in the sand, Elaine pulled Nuria to a stop, a serious look looking all the more ridiculous for the occasion and the pineapple bedecked shirt. A head shake and Elaine wiped a hand over her face.

"No way. That's....Just no. Anyway, they only throw virgins into volcanoes so we're safe. Very safe. Come on, they're disappearing around that corner."

Tugging off her sandals, Nuria hiked up her dress and darted off across the sand, following Elaine as they rounded a corner. This was turning out to be the most memorable vacation ever!

Just ahead, the young men that had so recently been serving them drinks were formed into a line, filling sandbags and building a wall between the hotel and...something. Something as yet unseen but given the furious pace of their labors, it had to be fairly serious. One young man, grimed and soaking wet, came up to them, gesticulating wildly.

"Did he just say 'lava'?" Nuria asked.

"Can't have a decent volcano without lava, so yeah, I think he said lava."

As the man got closer, his words became clearer. "You have to come this way, ladies! Quickly! We can't keep you safe if you stay out here!"

"Keep us safe from what, exactly?" Businesslike, Nuria stepped forward.

"The lava will come this way," the man pointed along the sand towards the sea. "And head for the sea. We don't have much time. I have to go back! Get to safety!"

"Do you need help!?" Elaine and Nuria yelled out at once without thinking, only looking at each other afterward, shrugging.

"No, no, you are fine ladies, visiting!" the man said, turning to look back at them, taking in Nuria's beautiful clothes. And Elaine's weird clothes. Back to Nuria.

That settled it for them and, brushing off the young man's protestations, both Nuria and Elaine took a place in the line of those on the line filling sandbags. There were women too, they noticed, recognizing at least one of the maids that had been on their floor. Very quickly, they were both sopping wet and bedecked in mud and sandy grit, making them indecipherable from the others.

There was no way to tell how long they worked like that. Every once in a while, another young man came by with a huge pitcher of water that they all shared, never leaving their places in the line. It was so different from ordering drinks in the civilized setting at the lounges that they laughed, and then they were back at it, filling sandbags.

"Get back!" a man bellowed from further up the ridge. Quickly, the workers fell back toward the hotel, standing out on the still sun-warm stones.

"Wow."

Awestruck, it was all that Elaine could manage, echoed by a string of wonderful Spanish curses from Nuria.

Before them, a river of lava made its way down the mountainside, moving quickly, channeled by the natural contours of the land and by the hastily erected sandbag barrier.

"If I wasn't standing here watching this shit, I'd never believe it," Nuria said, unable to tear her eyes from the river of red and black as it made its way to the sea, where it hissed and spit, sending up billows of white steam.

Casting a quick glance at Nuria, covered from head to toe in sand, mud, and who knew what else, Elaine chuckled. "If I wasn't standing here looking at you, I'd never've believed it."

Pulling her eyes away from the awesome display before her, Nuria looked down at herself and then scooped a handful of glop and flung it at Elaine. Not that anyone could tell, after all, Elaine was just as filthy as she was. They all were.

"I think that's the worst of it," an unidentifiable man came up to them, taking Nuria by the arm. "We should get you back to the hotel."

"Can you imagine their faces? They'll never let us in like this!" Nuria reasoned.

"They'll throw our stuff out in the sand," Elaine said with some humor. The more that she thought of it, the better an idea it sounded. Which was exactly the reason not to do it, she knew. "Is there a hose somewhere?"

Nuria's jaw dropped at the image of them both being hosed off like a pair of dogs that had been caught rolling around in the garden, only to burst out laughing at that image.

"Oh yeah, this is memorable all right," she muttered.

"No need, all of the staff shower, here, come, follow me!"

Gesturing, the young man darted ahead, drawing them forward into the tight knot of hotel workers as they made their way around the front entrance of the hotel. The back of the hotel was quiet, lit by tiki-torches buried in the sand, making it easy for them to follow the others.

Just ahead, the others stopped on a wooden deck under a large water cistern, stripping off their clothes without a second thought and leaving them on the outer edges of the makeshift patio.

"Well, this just gets better and better. Maybe we get lucky after all." Elaine clapped her hands together vigorously, grinning as she marched forward, throwing clothes here and there with abandon.

Laughing, Nuria pulled everything off and gave chase, joining the small crowd of men and women under the cistern, rinsing the mud, sand and sweat free. She helped others get clean and they helped her. As the workers got clean, they were given clean sheets to wrap up in before they headed down the beach, taking seats wherever they could. Two men wrapped in sheets, toga fashion, set up hammocks and pulled down chaises from the hotel above.

[imgwrap=left:37u6ymoj]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d23/XXXevilgrinXXX/other%20stuff/2758fd70.jpg[/imgwrap:37u6ymoj]As the small group of workers thinned, they faced a choice. They could go back the way they had come, going back into the hotel where they could look for company in one of the many hotel lounges – after getting changed of course – or they could walk down the beach and join their new friends.

Draping their arms around the half naked waists of two of the young men that had served them earlier, they decided, and made their way down towards the water.

"Best vacation."
"Ever."

-over....?-

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It was a rainy night in the big city. A hard rain. Hard enough to wash the scum off the streets. And I'm stuck in it without an umbrella. What a tool.

Offline NorthernLights

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Re: [ORIG] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [R][FIN]
« Reply #1 on: Sat, Aug 08, 2009, 09:36 PM »
:lolmao
Yup.
I can picture both of you.
Having the time of your lives.
More.
Please.

Offline njrd

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Re: [ORIG] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [R][FIN]
« Reply #2 on: Mon, Aug 10, 2009, 10:04 AM »
Vacation.
Was there any finer word, in any language?

**cannot think about a finer one right now, except friendship! *Tackles Elaine in a fierce smooch**

a carton of milk, a pound of coffee and a pineapple
**that's a one hell of a grocery shopping...giggles...

It was a lottery ticket.
**Yay!! I so wish this happen in real life

They had hurriedly packed and flown in to the Caribbean Friday afternoon. With the winnings, Nuria had arranged a fantastic two weeks in the sunny, cabana boy laden climate of a tiny private island. First class, all the way.
**SWOON!! I died and went to heaven :laughter Oh, my God, love your crazy sense of humor!

Very quickly, they were both sopping wet and bedecked in mud and sandy grit, making them indecipherable from the others.
It was so different from ordering drinks in the civilized setting at the lounges that they laughed,

**only the two of us would laugh at this, heehee.

Just ahead, the others stopped on a wooden deck under a large water cistern, stripping off their clothes without a second thought and leaving them on the outer edges of the makeshift patio.
"Well, this just gets better and better. Maybe we get lucky after all." Elaine clapped her hands together vigorously, grinning as she marched forward, throwing clothes here and there with abandon.

**You go, girl!! Such a visionary woman you are, sister!!

They could go back the way they had come, going back into the hotel where they could look for company in one of the many hotel lounges – after getting changed of course – or they could walk down the beach and join their new friends.
**what to do? what to do? heehee

"Best vacation."
"Ever."

**Yup, cannot think about a better one  :dream

Lately, real life sucks big time, so this was such a wonderful surprise, Elaine. This vacation is  definitively way better than the real deal was, I swear.
This story had me laughing out loud for the first time in weeks! Thank you very much, gorgeous, you did know how to make me feel better. If it wasn't because of you...
 :happykiss


Offline evilgrin

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Re: [ORIG] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [R][FIN]
« Reply #3 on: Mon, Aug 10, 2009, 11:43 AM »
thanks, NL. I think the real reason NJ and I have an ocean separating us is that the world isn't ready for what we could manage to get up to if we lived in the same place :lolmao NJ, I wanted to write love, I considered writing smut, but at the end of the day, humor called on me. A good, honest to god laugh is the best vacation we can get (at least until one of us wins the lottery for real and then look out!)
It was too much fun to throw all those things in there, the shopping list, the tickets, the crazy shirts and the mojitos, but it's the company I liked best. Love the hell out of you, NJ! :happykiss

Elaine:)

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It was a rainy night in the big city. A hard rain. Hard enough to wash the scum off the streets. And I'm stuck in it without an umbrella. What a tool.

Offline princess_silence

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Re: [ORIG] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [R][FIN]
« Reply #4 on: Mon, Aug 10, 2009, 02:58 PM »
:giggle

Offline evilgrin

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Re: [ORIG] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [R][FIN]
« Reply #5 on: Mon, Aug 10, 2009, 03:39 PM »
*giggles evilly*
I like my weird brain too :D
Elaine:)

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It was a rainy night in the big city. A hard rain. Hard enough to wash the scum off the streets. And I'm stuck in it without an umbrella. What a tool.