Author Topic: A Letter from Loki [NC-17] One Shot 10/27/2014  (Read 48 times)

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Offline ban sidhe

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A Letter from Loki [NC-17] One Shot 10/27/2014
« on: Mon, Oct 27, 2014, 06:31 AM »
Author: ban sidhe
Title:  A Letter from Loki
Rating:  NC-17 for history of family issues and mention of planned suicide
Fandom:  Loki of Marvel
Disclaimer:  Pictures were gathered from all over the Net and belong to their creators.  I own nothing related to Marvel.  Various mythological references included.
Summary:  Loki’s tired of it all and still rebellious.
Pairing: none
Archive: Here only please, unless a specific request is made... just shoot me a pm.
Feedback: The more the merrier!  I love hearing your thoughts.
Author's Notes:  How would Loki feel after he’s held Odin’s throne for a while?  We know by his own words, “Satisfaction is not in my nature.”  So this takes place some time after Thor, The Dark World.


A Letter from Loki

         
inspired by

"Mama, I'm Coming Home"

Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde, Lemmy Kilmister

Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come, but I ain't the same

Mama, I'm coming home

Times gone by, seems to be
You could have been a better friend to me

Mama, I'm coming home

You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes

You made me cry, you told me lies
But, I can't stand to say goodbye

Mama, I'm coming home

I could be right, I could be wrong
It hurts so bad, it's been so long

Mama, I'm coming home

Selfish love, yeah, we're both alone
The ride before the fall, yeah.
But I'm gonna take this heart of stone
I just got to have it all.

I've seen your face a hundred times,
Everyday we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
'cause mama,

Mama, I'm coming home
I'm coming home

You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotised, yeah.
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes

I've seen your face a thousand times
Everyday we've been apart
And I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
'cause mama,

Mama, I'm coming home
I'm coming home



               
+++++

The God of Thunder turned, surprised when he was called back to Director of Shield’s office.   The Avengers had just finished debriefing after their latest run-in with some fool who thought he could take whatever he wanted and be damned the consequences.  He wondered what the man wished to say; the look on his face was strange and seemed rather uncomfortable and questioning.

“Director?”  he asked curiously, but a frisson of dread slithered down his spine.

“A communication from Asgard arrived while you were busy.  It’s stamped with the King’s seal and marked for your eyes only.”  The man stared at the god when he swallowed and took a deep breath.

“Expecting bad news, Thor?”

“Truly, I am not sure, Director.  I believe if it were anything serious, Heimdall would have contacted me directly.  This is confusing.”  He reached out a hand for the scroll the Director held out to him, surprising both of them when it shook as he accepted the missive. 

“You need some privacy for that, I’d suggest the roof,”  He murmured quietly.  He was getting a weird vibe from the big blonde, almost as if he was afraid to read that letter.

Thor thanked him and vanished.  As soon as the fire door to the roof closed behind him, he broke the seal.  Then he found the nearest thing to him to sit on.  A tiny green spark had flared when the seal cracked. 

That should have been impossible.  Beneath the king’s sigil, in an ink so dark green it appeared black, Loki’s words covered the letter.  He would recognise that elegant script anywhere.  Taking another steadying breath, he began to read.

                  
+++++

‘My dearest Thor,

I know this missive has come as a surprise to you, my loving not-brother.  I hope it finds you well and happy playing with your little mortals.  Before I continue, perhaps you should find a solid seat.  Preferably on the ground.  (I do not anticipate a faint, but just to be safe.) 

I have much to impart and not all of it pleasant.  Well, I suppose from your point of view, most of it will not be very comforting.  How to begin?  I think it will be best if I just speak plainly, rather than try to soften this for you.  You never were very good with subtlety anyway.

Much has happened after your little chat with the All-Father when you decided to give away your crown.  How would I know such a thing you gasp?  How do you think, you fool?  You never could see through my illusions.  No need to panic, your father is not dead, just sleeping.  But that part of the tale comes later.  Be patient.

Know I am not pleased with you, brother.  For all your claims of undying, unconditional love... you left me behind!  Your little mortal bitch was more important to you than seeing to the care of my immortal soul?  Well, perhaps the sages are correct.  As a Jotunn monster, I probably don’t have one. 

But it also appears we are harder to kill than expected.  You should know, however, I spent a miserable time lying there bleeding in the cold dirt and blowing ash of Svartalfheim until healed enough to drag myself home.  I was actually surprised when the old man sent a few einherjar to search for his cuckoo’s body.  Replacing myself with one of them was fairly simple.

But enough of that.  You will have the rest of your long life to reflect on just how badly you have failed in your duties as a brother and protector.  I’m sure you’ve realised by now, I speak of more, much more, than just that last betrayal.

Asgard will appear somewhat different once you have concluded your current affairs on Midgard and returned.  Yes, you must, as there is no other left to fill the throne but you.  At least until you free Odin from his enforced nap.  And if he’s up to the task.  He seemed rather weak, tired even, when we last spoke.  Didn’t even put up that much of a fight.

No, this is not some cruel joke.  I am alive still, or was when I penned this.  You will not see me again, though.  Hopefully, I will die soon, in battle, defending the Realm.  If I am truly lucky, the Valkyries will take pity on me and I will see Mother once more.  If not, I presume Hela will welcome her father with open arms.  It’s all I want now.  Peace and to rest.

Your Warriors and the Lady Sif are beginning to suspect me, I believe.  Especially Lady War.  She has been a great asset, though she knows not who she serves.  Allowing her to see my face worked out so well the first time I sat on Hlidskjalf.  I cannot afford their treachery this time.  The Realm requires unquestioning loyalty.

Civil war is brewing, Thor.  Many of the old guard do not like the modifications ‘Odin’ has instituted, not only in the law, but also by example.  They refuse to adapt, to accept that the world is changing.  I have heard murmurs that the Council may even consider asking ‘Odin’ to step aside for a time and grieve properly, that he may return with his mind clear.  Hah!

Asgard has become too insular these past millennia and the rest of the Realms are growing restless under her unchanging yoke.  She prospers for now as I have freed some trade restrictions, begun diplomatic relations again with Jotunheim and the new leader of the Dvergar. 

Ivaldi has finally met his end.  A mining accident, if my sources speak true.  Believe it or not, Volstagg has become my impromptu ambassador to Niflheim.  Perhaps his love of dwarven ale is to blame.

At any rate, some of your father’s old council have already been replaced with younger, more forward thinking men.  The elders grumble and plot in the shadows, but I excel in rooting out secrets, do I not?  So no one’s plans have come to anything, yet.  The fools keep trying, though. 

Not reason enough for me to give it all up you say?  You know I never really wanted the throne.  I only wished for you to take more time to realise what rule really encompassed.  All the day to day little problems and decisions that bored you so when we were growing up under our various tutors.  It’s so much more than just winning glorious battles and feasting. 
No wonder the AllFather so often looked weary.  The burden is heavy on the king’s shoulders.

But I have ulterior motives, as well.  Much more important ones, that impact on all of Yggdrasil.  Thought and Memory speak to me now and the tale they tell is not a happy one for me.  At first I did not believe and thusly, I sought confirmation from other sources. 

As the All-Father before me, I have walked the branches of the Mother and spoken to her guardians.  An interesting journey, to say the least.  It took me some time to unravel their riddles, but now it has all come clear, though I was not certain I would recover after sipping from Mimir’s Well.

I refuse to follow the fate the Norns have woven for me.  Not this time; not again.  You remember their prophecies?  If not, the court mages can refresh your memory.  I will not be Loki Betrayer, Loki World Ender again.  I refuse.  I just can’t do it, Thor.  It goes against everything I have fought for my whole life.  I cannot stand the idea that all I have suffered is to be for nothing. 

So... war will come between the Realms, and the All-Father will lead in battle as he has always done.  But he is older now, slower and his mind is conflicted.  He will fall and while the Realm Eternal mourns, you will return and take your proper place.  And I will finally be free.

After I am dead, my seidr hiding the door to Odin’s chamber will fade.  You will have to find it quickly, as the spells keeping him in stasis will also end.  I hope you remember the way to the catacombs where we used to play as children, when we were avoiding his or Mother’s wrath.  That is where he now lies.

I do hope you will see the wisdom in the change I have begun.  Look to your mortals for understanding if it makes no sense to you.  At least they have learned the value of enjoying the differences in people and cultures. 

Asgard has been static in her beliefs and politics for too long.  That way lies predictability, which means weaknesses to exploit and spiritual death and decay.  Better one physical death than the destruction of everything we know.

This is our final goodbye, brother.  Do know, as much as I have hated you over the centuries, I have always loved you, as well.  Be a good king, Thor.  It starts with being a good man.  I have watched you over the past few years and I believe you have become one.

Your little brother, always. 

Loki, I
King of Asgard and Protector of the Nine Realms

               
+++++

Fury watched dispassionately on the security monitor as the God of Thunder crumbled and came apart reading the communique.  He’d actually had to stop several times and take deep breaths, wiping streaming eyes, before he could continue.  By the end of it, he was openly sobbing and kept muttering softly, “No, no!  Loki, please, no!”

As he read the last lines, he crushed the scroll in shaking hands, his head dropping to his chest.  Finally getting himself under some semblance of control, the god stood and stumbled forward.  He dropped the parchment and lifted his head to the sky, crying out for the Gatekeeper.  In an instant, with the usual flash of multi-hued light, he was gone.

Before the Director could summon one of his agents to go collect it, he was startled to see an Avenger step out of the shadows and pick the scroll up.  Of all people, it had to be Hawkeye.  He carefully flattened the parchment against his thigh, taking care not to twist or tear it.

“Shit, this is going to be bad,” Fury thought, as he watched the agent scan the missive.  He really didn’t like the way the man’s expression changed.  Clint’s face went from shocked disbelief to instant rage, then confusion and finally a kind of sympathetic horror as he lifted his face to the sky where Thor had vanished.

When commanded to return with the letter, he looked directly at the hidden camera and stated quite calmly, “Fuck you, Fury.  No way are you burying this before the rest of the team sees it.  You can have it when they’re done.  Maybe.  Group decision.”  With that, he turned and leaped off the roof. 

His answer more than pissed the Director off.  He was really worried, now.  Realising the only way he was going to get that letter back was to go to Avengers’ Tower and beg. 

He sighed and headed out.  He couldn’t afford to lose them all now over some damnable mischief Loki had left behind.  The little shit managed to cause trouble even when he was supposedly dead and gone.  Though Fury had a sneaking suspicion he really wasn’t.  God damn the God of Chaos! 

               
+++++

Asgard/the Realm Eternal - home of the Norse gods, the highest realm of the World Tree
Gatekeeper/Heimdall - Asgard’s all-seeing guardian and operator of the Bifrost gateway
Ivaldi - ancient king of the dvergar, (dwarves), and their finest smith
Jotunn/Jotnar - Loki’s species, also called Frost Giants and the Aesir’s hereditary enemies
God of Chaos, Betrayer, World Ender - several of Loki’s descriptive names
Mimir - a Vanir seer, taken in war.  Odin preserved his head for his sage advice
Niflheim - the Realm of the Dvergar
Nornir - the three sisters known as the Fates.  They weave the destiny of all beings.
Sif/Lady War - Thor’s friend, a powerful woman, the first to become accepted as a warrior
Svartalfheim - a ruined world, once the Realm of the Dokkalfar (dark elves).
Valkyries - literally, “the choosers of the slain”.  Warrior maids who decide who goes to Valhalla after dying in battle
Valhalla - the Norse afterlife for chosen warriors where they feast while awaiting Ragnarok
Warriors -  the Warriors Three, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg, Thor’s shieldbrothers and friends
Yggdrasil - the World Tree, the Aesir depiction of the nine Realms of the Cosmos

Offline Montgomery Burns 13

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Re: A Letter from Loki [NC-17] One Shot 10/27/2014
« Reply #1 on: Mon, Oct 27, 2014, 01:23 PM »
Quote
my loving not-brother

Hehe, I love the wording.

Quote
For all your claims of undying, unconditional love... you left me behind!  Your little mortal bitch was more important to you than seeing to the care of my immortal soul?

Well, as far as I remember, Loki was obviously dead, but Jane Foster was still alive.  And didn't Thor still have to fight Malekith and save Earth?  So of course Thor would turn his attention to Jane and Malekith.  Besides, Loki's body was collected later on by Odin's soldiers (well, Odin sent soldiers to collect Loki's body).

But of course Loki would see things differently. :)

Quote
You will have the rest of your long life to reflect on just how badly you have failed in your duties as a brother and protector.  I’m sure you’ve realised by now, I speak of more, much more, than just that last betrayal.

So he's still resentful, huh?  Suits his personality quite well.  I wonder what else Thor did to Loki which could be viewed as betrayal.  At least in Loki's opinion.

Quote
Many of the old guard do not like the modifications ‘Odin’ has instituted, not only in the law, but also by example.

Hehe, they didn't like the way Loki ruled in "Thor", so I can imagine that they don't like his present rule either.

Quote
I will not be Loki Betrayer, Loki World Ender again.

But Ragnarok hasn't happened yet in this Marvel timeline, has it?  So Loki would not be World Ender again, or would he?

Anyway, I love the story, although I'd love to read more about the changes Loki put into effect, and about the upcoming civil war.  Too bad though that Loki is thinking of killing himself.

Keep up the good work!
Who needs love when you've got a gun, who needs love to have some fun. Black Flag
Feelings are overrated. Dean Winchester



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Offline ban sidhe

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Re: A Letter from Loki [NC-17] One Shot 10/27/2014
« Reply #2 on: Mon, Oct 27, 2014, 05:10 PM »
Monty, Loki mentions visiting Mimir and the Norns in his letter.  All of them were considered seers... able to see the future.  Also the Norns knew the past and what had happened in previous cycles.  Apparently Loki gained knowledge of past cycles and his role as the bringer of Ragnarokkr.  He no longer wants to be that being and is hoping to 'break the cycle' by removing himself from this cycle's future.  Unfortunately, the only way he can see to do that is to cease existing.  No matter what everyone believes of him, he is still looking to protect his home.

In all the movies, there are hints and slight mentions of Loki's resentment in how the brothers are treated differently.  He has stated plainly that he did not want the throne, but felt Thor was not ready to rule.  Loki has always felt unappreciated, that he was eclipsed by Thor, that his talents were denigrated by Aesir as they did not fit their vision of proper 'warrior' behaviour, no matter that he was a smarter fighter than Thor and his friends.  And he greatly resents Thor's treatment of him as his weaker little brother... he is fully capable of protecting himself and others.

Offline Montgomery Burns 13

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Re: A Letter from Loki [NC-17] One Shot 10/27/2014
« Reply #3 on: Tue, Oct 28, 2014, 10:52 AM »
Assuming that everything in that universe happens in cycles, then yes, it makes total sense that Loki is aware that in a former cycle it was him that started Ragnarok, and that this will always be his role.  I can fully understand that he wants to break this cycle.  It's sad though that the can think of only one solution to do this.

I agree with you that Loki has always felt unappreciated, he even said he was just a shadow, living in the shade of Thor's greatness.  And come to think of it, yeah, there are some incidents you could see as some kind of betrayal.  For instance when Loki fell into the abyss after the Rainbow Bridge was destroyed.  For some reason he believes that Thor let him fall, whereas he was the one who let loose.

:)
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Offline ban sidhe

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Re: A Letter from Loki [NC-17] One Shot 10/27/2014
« Reply #4 on: Tue, Oct 28, 2014, 07:23 PM »
I didn't see that scene as him blaming Thor so much as utter hopelessness in the realization that no matter what he did, it would never get him the recognition he wanted from Odin.  In that moment of emotional betrayal, he simply gave up and felt his life was no longer worth living.  He intended to die and end his pain.

Offline Montgomery Burns 13

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Re: A Letter from Loki [NC-17] One Shot 10/27/2014
« Reply #5 on: Wed, Oct 29, 2014, 11:53 AM »
Quote from:  ban sidhe
I didn't see that scene as him blaming Thor so much as utter hopelessness in the realization that no matter what he did, it would never get him the recognition he wanted from Odin.

Same here.

What I wanted to convey in my last post though was that Loki nevertheless accused Thor of tossing him into the abyss.  At least that's what he said to Thor in The Avengers:

"I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness.  I remember you tossing me into an abyss, I who was and should be king!"

Who needs love when you've got a gun, who needs love to have some fun. Black Flag
Feelings are overrated. Dean Winchester



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Offline ban sidhe

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Re: A Letter from Loki [NC-17] One Shot 10/27/2014
« Reply #6 on: Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 05:58 AM »
True.  You have to admit he was just a little crazy at that point, though.  And not completely in control of his own actions.