Author Topic: [Loki/Marvel U] Loki's Plaint, (G) Oneshot 05/23/2014  (Read 21 times)

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Offline ban sidhe

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[Loki/Marvel U] Loki's Plaint, (G) Oneshot 05/23/2014
« on: Fri, May 23, 2014, 06:48 AM »
Author: ban sidhe
Title:  Lokiís Plaint
Rating:  G
Fandom:  Loki/Marvel AU
Disclaimer:  Pictures were gathered from all over the Net and belong to their creators. Names and characters from the Marvel universe belong to them.  The songs belong to their respective musical groups.
Summary:  After the debacle at the end of Thor, a fallen god finds himself alone and wondering what he is to become.
Pairing: none
Archive: Here only please, unless a specific request is made... just shoot me a pm.
Feedback: The more the merrier!  I love hearing your thoughts.
Author's Notes:  Loki has just found out heís not who he thought he was and that the people who claimed to love him have lied to him for his entire life.  His reaction is typical of many adoptees.  Heís hurt and angry and has run away from home, searching for identity and lusting for revenge.

Lokiís Plaint

 
 

"Somewhere I Belong"

     
Linkin Park

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That Iím not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that Iíve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain Iíve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till itís gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like Iím close to something real
I wanna find something Iíve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And Iíve got nothing to say
I canít believe I didnít fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That itís not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
íCause I canít justify the way everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Repeat Chorus]

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

[Repeat Chorus]

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like Iím somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like Iím somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

Loki sits in his room, slumped on a cushioned lounge, one foot on the cushions, one on the floor.  Heís dragged a mirror close and propped it up so he can see himself.  Itís a much less elegant accommodation than what heís used to.  But it has a door, and that locks.

His left arm is resting on the raised knee.  Heís staring at it, turning it over and back, flexing the hand.  (the one that the jotun grabbed) 

He lifts his eyes to the mirror, takes a deep breath and lets himself go blue, red eyed.  It makes him shudder.  In disgust?  Self-loathing? 
 
 

Looking at the stranger in the glass, Loki speaks to it... to him.  ďI donít belong there after all.  It never was my throne; theyíre not my family.  Gods!  Iíve killed my own father for that liar!  I am a monster.Ē  He drops his face into his hands and sobs, broken hearted, remembering.

Odin said I had been abandoned.  Left to die.  What if that wasnít true?  What if Iíd only been hidden to protect me?  Now, Iíll never know. 

ďIíve been living a lie my whole life.  And now what?  Do I stay there amongst my peopleís enemies and continue with the pretense?   I cannot go home; Iíve ruined that possibility.  But where would I go?  Where can I go?Ē 

ďI donít belong anywhere or to anyone.  My friends will never forgive this deception.Ē  Theyíre not your friends, theyíre Thorís; they only tolerate you because you're his brother.  Except heís not.

ďAnd what of my brother?Ē  (huffs in disbelief of his own folly)  Heís not your brother, fool.  ďHe never knew, either.  Now that he does, will he hate me?  I couldnít blame him.Ē

He stares now at his usual face, tears standing in his again pale eyes.  ďShould I even care?  None of them really cared about me.  Except Frigga.Ē
 

And... and sheís not your mother.  No matter how much she claims to love you.  Is that why she taught me her magic?  She must have known it would set me apart.
Make me untrustworthy in the othersí eyes.  She was protecting her husbandís heir.  Of course!  Just another reason to keep me from my birthright.[/i]

ďWhere is my mother?Ē  What happened to her?  If she lives does she wonder what happened to me?  Did she give me up?  How can I find her?

His head drops and the tears run freely down his cold cheeks.  After a moment, his breath hitches and he stifles another sob.  He will not cry like a child, like an Asgardian.  Those creatures who let their emotions have free rein, no matter the consequences.  Heís better than them.  Stronger. 

ďI am a master of magic.  Iím smarter than any of them.  I will show them all what a mistake theyíve made.Ē  Now as he stares into the mirror, his eyes flash with the power of his magic and his rage. 

ďBeware, Asgard.  You have made yourselves an enemy.  One who knows all your secrets, all your weaknesses.  And once I have made you all suffer for the pain youíve caused me, I will destroy you.Ē 
 
 
The radio in the neighbouring apartment clicks on.  Usually he tunes it out.  But today, he listens.

   
Wonít Back Down

Fuel

YEAH!!! [x2]

I know what darkness means         
(and the void you left for me)
The isolation stings
(So think it wants to bleed)
The echoes in my brain
(Of the things you said to me)
You took my everything
Now I'm coming for you!

[Chorus:]
I won't back down
I will not bow
I've come to bring you hell
I canít forget
Things you did
I've come to bring you hell

The shadows that you see
(In the places that you sleep)
Are memories of me
(Better pray your soul to keep)
The truth behind your eyes
(You know that place you never see)
Your darkest little lies
Are coming for you!

[Chorus]

All the scars that never heal
All the wounds that will not seal
I will not forget the day
These memories never fall

[Chorus]

I've come to bring you hell
(I've come to bring you hell)[x4]

Oh,yes, he thinks, Hel is coming.  Loki smiles. 

               
FINI
« Last Edit: Fri, May 23, 2014, 10:34 AM by ban sidhe »

Offline Montgomery Burns 13

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Re: [Loki/Marvel U] Loki's Plaint, (G) Oneshot 05/23/2014
« Reply #1 on: Fri, May 23, 2014, 09:30 AM »
Nice one-shot!

Poor Loki, it must've come quite as a shock for him to learn that he's not Odin's son, but that he's actually adopted.  No wonder he's hurt.  I'm sure it is difficult for parents to tell their children that they're not their real children, but nevertheless, Odin should've told Loki from the beginning who he is.

Love the pics you posted - they convey Loki's emotions perfectly.

Who needs love when you've got a gun, who needs love to have some fun. Black Flag
Feelings are overrated. Dean Winchester



my fanfics

Offline ban sidhe

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Re: [Loki/Marvel U] Loki's Plaint, (G) Oneshot 05/23/2014
« Reply #2 on: Fri, May 23, 2014, 10:29 AM »
thanks, Monty.  :-*

and thanks for the beta... will fix